What I Learned in 2008

The first day of a New Year is such a unique time. Along with our expectancies and hopes for the upcoming 365 days, there are realizations from the past that are impossible to ignore. For me the greatest surprise of 2008 was discovering that I NEED all the women I have in my life...my friends, my sister, my sister-in-laws and my cousins...all of these precious women are an essential part of my existence and my life could never be the same without them. I've always known I loved these girls but I never realized how much I depend on them and it has been a thrilling discovery. So, it is to them, these beautiful women of all shapes, sizes, ages and cultures that I want to say "thank you" from the bottom of my heart. I am so excited to see what 2009 has in store for us. Here's a little recap...

Through the years, we have gained and lost many pounds and many people. We have worked out together and worked things out together and even seen and let things fall apart together. We have cut and colored countless hairs together; shared makeup, clothes, ambitions, dreams, disappointments, tears and smiles. We bore burdens and children. We have had painful periods and periods of painfulness. We've lent money and shoulders. We have closed our eyes and opened our hearts and closed our mouths and opened our ears. We have laughed and danced and AIMed, IMd, chatted and texted...sometimes all at the same time. 

We have seen changes in the earth, in our worlds and in our bodies. We have fallen in and out of love with our boyfriends and husbands and we have learned together that the only really unconditional love we have is the one that God gives us and we give our kids. We have learned the hard way that people do come and go and that love does change and grow. We have been humanized, criticized, humbled and overwhelmed. We have made big mistakes and small mistakes and we have been loved despite ourselves. We have learned to love through the anger, scream through the frustration, and apologize from the heart. We have supported each other and been disappointed in each other. We've drifted apart but we always come back. We have been frustrated, angry, bitter and moody and we have been happy, excited, joyful and beautiful. We've been patient and desperate. We've made wrong choices for the right reasons, and right choices for the wrong reasons, and bad choices for no reason. We've been right and wrong. We've been good and we've been bad. We've been hurt and we've hurt others and we've even hurt each other. We have seen new lines forming on our faces where pimples used to be and we have realized that underneath all our hair dye and keratin there are gray hairs looming.

We have watched each other's children be born -- literally -- and then blinked one day and found that the first babies are now teenagers and the last babies seem a lot easier than the first ones did. We have had sick kids and healthy kids and happy kids and angry kids. We have been in hospital rooms and waiting rooms and fitting rooms and iChat rooms. We have watched our children evolve and we wonder together if we are doing and have done everything we can because we are somehow sure that it is never enough -- that "we" are never enough. We are hard on ourselves and on each other. And we have suddenly discovered exactly how our mothers loved us and we have realized that our mothers were women, too and that maybe they really did have a clue and understood more than we gave them credit for -- but we're not quite ready to admit it to them yet.

We have prayed together and sinned together. We have lied together, to each other and for each other. We have made big deals about little things and little deals about big things. We have been passionate and purposeful and remorseful. We have been selfish and selfless and have uncovered, discovered and recovered pieces of ourselves along the way. We have been attached and detached and we have held on and let go. We have fallen and gotten back up and fallen and gotten back up and fallen...and then picked each other up.

We have reprimanded, encouraged and listened tirelessly to each other's stories about kids, husbands, boyfriends, marriage, divorce, sex, pregnancy, jobs, pets, parents and money. We have downloaded songs, lyrics, scriptures and quotes and we have uploaded photos, videos and scrapbook pages. We've taken tons of pictures with tons of cameras of the same exact thing --- but from different angles. We're gadget geeks driven by our love for anything that starts with a little "i" in front. We've documented and preserved our friendship and our memories and we even Facebook-by-proxy because that's just what friends do. 

We have texted each other even when we could just pick up the phone to talk, and we have picked up the phone to talk even when we were so tired our eyes were stinging. We have harassed, hounded and stalked each other. We have disappeared and reappeared, excused and explained. We have sat in our car charging our phone in the middle of the night because our friends needed us and there was no charger in the house. We have left our comfort zones and stepped in to the fire with each other and we have taken the heat for it in so many ways. We have instigated and investigated. We have walked in each other's shoes and carried each other's loads -- not because we had extraordinary abilities or opportunities, but just because we wanted to. We have stayed up way past our bedtime and woken up at all hours of the night and morning for each other, we have gone out to dinner and stayed in to talk. We have stayed up all night and we have woken each other up. We have shown up at each other's houses with cake and wine and we have watched movies and read books just to understand each other's perspectives and have even more to talk about.

We have argued and disagreed and kissed and made up. We have been critical and cynical and yet oddly compassionate and complacent. We have surprised each other and disguised ourselves. We have failed and succeeded. We have discovered our weaknesses and forgotten our strengths and reminded each other of both along the way. We have driven around the block over and over again and realized that at heart we're all still teenage girls when it comes to boys and that it doesn't really make sense --- but it somehow does. We have lifted each other up and pushed each other down. We have agreed to disagree and love each other anyway and listen -- to the point of exhaustion. We have made sensible choices and senseless mistakes and been able to explain both in the same breath. We have laughed inappropriately and cried inexplicably and never had to explain either.

We have spent time together and we have spent money together. We have read each other's emails and sent them anyway. We have all seen each other through different eyes and learned different things about our personalities that we didn't know before. We have learned secrets, and kept most of them. We have gone to birthday parties, and slumber parties, and grown up parties and pity parties. We have caught each other in lies and lied about knowing just to not make each other feel bad. We have called each other's bluffs and let go of the little things to make room for the big things that really need our attention more. We've watched money, people, pounds and excuses come and go. We've justified ourselves and each other even when we didn't believe it, and we've turned a blind eye temporarily and then opened each other's eyes when it was too unbearable to ignore. We have traveled together on physical and spiritual journeys and sometimes we have just sat together and eaten or starved our cares away.

One day things will change. We will all start to lose each other, our parents and maybe even our children. We will have new things to cry about and new obstacles to overcome. We will feel pain that is unfathomable today and we will need each other even more than we imagine is possible. But somehow as life's changes take us down these unseen metamorphosis, I know there is one constant...our love for each other. It is stronger than anything that threatens us and it is rooted in our deep convictions, principles and faith. My girls... we didn't find each other by chance, we didn't stumble into each other's lives by coincidence. God gave us this irrefutable connection and irreplaceable bond. It is strong enough to sustain us in our temporal state and I have no doubt it will follow us to eternity. Thank you for being my shoulders and ears, for supporting me, encouraging me and loving me. Thank you for your strong words and your soft words and thank you for your silence. Some things don't need to be said but this does. I love you. I pray for you. But most of all, I am thankful for you. 

~ V

Comments

[Anja]

I`ve loved fairytales from all over the world since I was a tiny girl. I still do, actually.

Melania, our lives are a lot like those tales. They just differ in the number of witches, wolves, other harmful and dangerous creatures, beautiful princesses and valiant princes, evil stepmothers, poor peasants, witty man of trade, you name it … Mostly it depends on our perception. And then, not all fairytales have a happy end.

Believe me, persons with seemingly picture perfect lives, 7th Heaven meets the Cosby show families, individuals with the greatest smiles, they can also carry a cross or two on their shoulders – speaking from experience. I think the recipe is in accenting the good things in our lives, to make them even better. To be thankful for them.

And Veronica, you do just that. You write about life with its ups and downs, its beauties and its problems, and you make it sound so perfect. Doing your magic trick of lightening the shadows while nicely accenting the importance of basic principles and values. Spicing it with optimism.

One word: Thanks.

[Michy Mallet]

Only one word really fits just right...BEAUTIFUL!

[Melania]

hello veronica I just wanted to let you know that sometimes I have a hard time relating to what you write about in your blogs. For me you seem to have the perfect life the fairytale life that alot of people these days which they could have. You have truly been blessed best wishes for this 2009
God Bless you