Identity Crisis

I've been trying to get back into scrapbooking just for fun and this page was so important for me to do.

My Sebastian.

My middle child. He is so much a middle child. I worry about his self-esteem. I worry about who he will be. I want so much for him to be secure in himself. Last year in K5 I saw him struggle with this. I saw how he could lose himself to the things the world told him he was. So I have tried...really hard...to instill in him a sense of who he is and who he is supposed to be regardless of what goes on around him.

How many of us can relate to this? How many times in life have we been told that we are bad or good or loud or insensitive or...whatever... and we believe it. We grow up being told that we are a certain way and we adapt to these expectations or beliefs. Why do we do that?

No one knows us better than we know ourselves and yet somehow we succumb to our environment and the worlds' ideas of who we're supposed to be. We buy into the lie and we try to measure up somehow. Even if it's a good thing we're told--it's not always fair or easy to live up to someone else's ideas when what wants to burst from within contradicts this.

God made us who we are. He knows every fiber of our beings and why He created us with the special talents and abilities that we possess. If we are lucky enough in life to acknowledge and adapt to these gifts then we are one step ahead of the world. But when we give in to ideologies or misrepresentations then we fall flat on our faces. And we will never really succeed or be happy with anything because pretending takes so much effort.

So I look at my middle child and I imagine him trying to live up to someone else's ideas of him and I realize how much work I have to do. Some children are born with confidence and strength...but not my Chimi. He knows he is loved -- we tell him all the time. But I believe he will always struggle to find his place in this world and I am personally committed to helping him find his place...but his place, not where others want or expect him to be, but who God has put in his heart that he is. He is so special and so unique and if he grows up not realizing this, then I will not have done my job as a mother.

It isn't always easy but being a mom never is. Yet somehow I know that it is my commitment forevermore to make sure that Chimi knows and becomes all that he is supposed to be. Because I love him. And even if the rest of the world never "gets" him or really "knows" him, I do. And I hope that somehow that will be enough.

Comments

[Anja]

One mother to another: congratulations! Your touching words reflect a true mother in every sense possible – the one loving her child unconditionally while really knowing and understanding him. Recognising his uniqueness …
A mother of four myself – 18, 17, 10 and 7 – I am still amazed by fact they come from the same parents yet they are 4 totally different persons. Yes, persons, from the day they were born … And there is still so much about them I have to understand about, if ever.
Children – learners and teachers …
Kind regards, Anja

[Elizabeth]

Vero-I applaud you for taking an active role in trying to instill in Chimi a sense of self. It's tough being a middle child and without guidance figuring out who you are is especially difficult. I'm a middle child myself and I didn't really figure it all out until well into adulthood. You being actively involved though will most likely make a huge difference in Sebastian's life. So, hang in there and keep reminding him who he is.

[Tanya]

I am a middle child and its not easy, I agree with what you say. I remember my math teacher telling me how bad I was in math It took a lot of work and many tears to change that. Many years latter I use that teacher as an example to the kind of teacher I don't want to be.