Actually, Jessica here hasn't even scratched the surface. She looks much older in these shots, but she just turned 15. She hasn't even begun to live the life that will be hers one day. She really has no idea how it will turn out. At 15 you have the freedom to live one day at a time and just take each thing on as it comes your way. It's actually quite beautiful to live this way before pressures and circumstances guide you and your choices.
At 15 the world is like the open end of a funnel. Your possibilities are endless. You feel you can be or do anything you want to. There are no limits on your opportunities. But as you get older, the choices narrow down and you start to see the things in front of you through the small end of the funnel. You limit yourself and you learn to gauge experiences accordingly.
Don't get me wrong...I have no desire to be 15 again. I loved my teenage years but they are difficult times. We are being shaped aggressively during these years. In my case, I was so sensitive on the inside and yet so tough on the outside. I tried to have it all together but life kept throwing me curves and without emotional maturity to confront or address situations, I absorbed all of the emotions. I suffered from ulcer pains a lot during these years. Every time something would happen to affect my nervous system, I would have a physical reaction to it. I didn't know how to process things so I internalized everything and that was very unhealthy.
It's an amazing thing -- life. In this gradual progression of our internal and external beings we travel through this seemingly endless journey of growth, knowledge and change. We evolve and we adapt and along the way, we somehow fool ourselves into believing we have all the time in the world to do "great things." And we misinterpret greatness because we begin by giving all of its merit to the external qualities we see.
That is the world of a 15-year-old. It's like being blinded to the things that are right in front of you. You're in the same place but you don't see things the same. When we were teenagers we we sure that we would not repeat the same mistakes as our parents and that we knew "better" or "more" than they ever did. Surely they were not people just like us going through the exact same things. No...things are different now and our parents could never understand.
That's what we believed, right? But then we grow up and we have kids and we realize that the cycle will continue and we are now part of the other side of the spectrum. And the view is so different from over here -- much more so than it was when I was 15-years-old and ready to change the world. And just like we did, Jessica, and all the other teens we encounter, will learn this. But they will have to learn it their way, in their time. Just like we all did.
And one day, before, we even realize we're doing it, we find ourselves saying things like "I was young once, too," or "I've already gone through the things you're going through now," or "One day you'll understand," and we see those same glares of disbelief that we used to give our moms staring right back at us. Funny, huh?
Yep...we live and learn every single day.
So true. No matter how understanding parents we are, adolescence is a path to be walked alone - or so it seems to the youngster in the throes of it. What they need is our support - admiting it or not. Words from my daughter`s high school teacher: "Be prepared - at this age (15) children start to turn into aliens. Your role is to support them, to love them, and to survive this time."
Two teenagers in our house now and we are still very alive ...
Kind regards, Anja
Posted by: Anja | October 05, 2008 at 05:24 PM